dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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