3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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