after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I know her cup size but not her name....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize