I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
