i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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