I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
