Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
