I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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