ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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