theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
