I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
