Umm I'm too high to move.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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