I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
