I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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