i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
wow bdsm is so cute
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