i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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