I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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