i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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