So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
