So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
