Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
