If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
