Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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