I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
