and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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