It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize