I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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