A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
