One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
