the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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