I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
