Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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