If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
