I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
