Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
