she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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