Nicole vs. Life
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
