I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
