I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
