Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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