I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
