make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
