She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
