Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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