I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize