All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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