My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
