My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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