woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
