have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
