Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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