One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
