Having a random hookup so left but love u
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
