Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
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It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My vagina is officially offended.
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If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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