We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
