i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
