remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
