And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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