Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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