doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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